The Grand Jury will come to order. I place in evidence People’s Exhibit One – a sixty-second radio ad for a candidate running for Circuit Court Judge. After a mind-numbing list of her volunteer activities and being deemed “Well Qualified” or “Qualified” by seven bar associations (there are only 3 classifications to begin with) the announcer says, “Judges play an important role in the judicial system. And you play an important role because you vote for judges.” Please pass the extra strength Tylenol®. Imagine, judges are an important part of the judicial system – it just boggles the mind.
I am madder than New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer, ready to seize the Sword of Justice and start swinging. I seek indictments against the radio station’s sales rep, the station’s programming and production departments as well as the candidate.
There’s a scene in “City Slickers” where Billy Crystal’s boss walks in to his office tosses a cassette into the garbage and calls “The Pizza Guys Pizza Guys” commercial, “crap.” I’m wondering why someone at the radio station this ad aired on didn’t do the same thing. Granted the only duty a radio station has is to take the candidates money and make sure the ads air. But perhaps there should be a moral obligation to advise people who don’t know better (candidates and business owners) that what they want to run is stupid.
If the salesperson didn’t have that discussion, someone responsible for the programming should have raised the subject of how dumb this ad makes the candidate sound. Maybe they had those discussions with the candidate and lost.
In that case the candidate or the person responsible for the candidate’s advertising. Give us examples of your judgment, of your judicial philosophy. Give us anything except the obvious. People who don’t know that Circuit Court Judges are elected are probably not going to go to the polls and vote in a primary election. People who don’t know that judges play an important role in the legal system are probably to stupid to vote. My prediction those who will vote won’t be voting for this candidate.
Perhaps the candidate has nothing to say, it's the primary after all. But if there's nothing to say – please say it in thirty seconds rather than a minute and spare the rest of us.
I rest my case.