Today’s “You Got To Be Kidding!” award goes to the Tri-State McDonald’s franchisees for their hype-riddled press release for iced coffee. The article reads in part:
McDonald's NYTSA restaurants are putting their delicious premium blend of coffee on ice. The new Premium Roast Iced Coffee comes in three tasty flavors, regular, hazelnut and vanilla and two great sizes, 24 oz and 32 oz, and will be available in the NYTSA McDonald's restaurants all-day, year round.
Three tasty flavors? Two great sizes? Clichés and hype in the same paragraph. They should slap the writer as well as the editor for allowing mindless phrases to pass for compelling copy.
But wait there’s more:
Coffee isn't just for those morning pick-me-ups anymore, now those on-the-go New York Tri-Staters can grab a cool treat while out in the summer heat since McDonald's offers quick drive-thru service! Produced from 100 percent whole Arabica beans and blended to perfection, the Premium Roast Iced Coffee will be a favorite "must have" beverage and accessory year round!
Not just “must have” but a “favorite must have beverage!” Just because you say it with conviction doesn’t make it true. It's coffee for crying out loud and while I don’t wish to start a war of values here, it seems to me that McDonald's® coffee is no better or worse than that found at any other fast food restaurant.
And while we're at it, are there really that many consumers who consider coffee of any kind an accessory? I can see it now McDonald's® coffee cups conspicuously shown off on subways all over New York City.
I can see scenes from the next round of McDonalds® ads:
"Gosh Bill, you used to be such a dork, but you drink McDonald's® Iced Coffee. How could I have been so wrong?"
“Sally, your coffee cup earrings are divine!”
“They’re not just any coffee cups, Beth they’re from McDonald's®”
“Hey Frank! Drinking and wearing McDonald's® Iced Coffee? You are one cool dude!”
It’s enough to drive you to drink.