Here’s an example from an “Hour Detroit Magazine” press release: “…as we celebrate the Best of Detroit as voted by you - our readers.” In this instance, “you” is inaccurate since “I” have never read “Hour Detroit.” Eliminating “you” also improves the flow of your message. “…The Best of Detroit, as voted by our readers,”
I’ll keep the press release on hand as an example of the excessive use of adjectives and alliteration.
Immerse your senses in our town's most precious gems.* Enjoy creative cocktails, tantalizing tastes, exciting entertainment, sensational style and brilliant beauty at the first-ever Best of Detroit party Thursday, June 22 at the Max M. Fisher Music Center.
*They missed a grand opportunity to toss in “ our town's most glitteringly gaudy gorgeous gems.”