Branding Ad Vice

We're So Sorry Dr. Z

On September 1st Daimler Chrysler AG Chairman Dieter Zetsche was, for all intents and purposes, fired as advertising spokesperson after only 2 months (more).  Perhaps you’ve seen the grandfatherly Dr. Z answering questions about the German engineering incorporated in Chrysler and Dodge vehicles.

Chrysler sales slumped during the 2 months of the ads so Dr. Z is gone replaced by a 72 month zero interest promotion.  The original thinking was if Lee Iacocca could do it in the 80s why not Dr. Z in 2006? 

You may remember that Chrysler chairman Iacocca led the company through a remarkable turnaround in the early 1980s and appeared in ads talking about improved production quality. His famous selling line: "If you can find a better car, buy it."  The phrase made sense in the early 80s.  Chrysler had re-tooled and introduced the innovative K-Cars and the first mini-van.

You may not remember the return of Lee Iacocca in the fall of 2005.  Chrysler put out a series of ads featuring the retired CEO and a string of  “celebrities” including Snoop Dog, Jason Alexander and his grand daughter.  “If you can find a better car, but it,” didn’t hold as much water and I’m fairly sure that Snoop fan has no idea who the old geezer was.

It isn’t Dr. Z’s fault that his ads weren’t compelling.  I happen to like many Chrysler products (I don’t own any – I just like them) but a Chrysler isn’t a Mercedes no matter how you spin it.  Where the original “If you find a better car…” line in the sand tone rang true in 1983, Dr. Z’s discussion of German automotive superiority was met with a collective “So what?” by consumers.  Which is pretty much the same reaction Chrysler is going to get from 72 month zero interest financing.  Why not just pay us to take the cars off your hands?

Now that’d be something to talk about.

What’s Next, Harley Davidson Scooters?

While it’s true you don’t have to grow up, you can’t help growing older.  Harley Davidson has announced the development of a three-wheel vehicle, which made me wonder how far Harley Davidson could go to keep in step (so to speak) with it’s aging baby boomer customer base.

I can imagine the ad now… “We guarantee that if Medicare doesn’t approve your Harley Davidson Scooter, it’s free!”

Pluto Demoted - Loses Its Planet Brand

The scientists have voted, but will it take?  Discovered in 1930, Pluto has been a planet in my book since Mrs. Wakefield showed the filmstrip to my first grade class at Fairlane Elementary in Taylor Michigan in 1959. 

That’s not to say that past that I’m not open to new concepts.  We (most of us at least) know the world isn’t flat.  But trying to re-invent yourself and creating a new image by only changing your name is tricky.

I can’t predict whether vast majority of people will go along with the scientist on Pluto.  Americans generally love the underdog and will probably stick up for the little guy out there at the edge of our solar system.  But let’s consider two mostly unsuccessful attempts to re-position a product by renaming it. 

About 14 years ago, a business owner severely chastised me for calling his establishment a “bowling alley.”  The proper term he explained was “bowling center.”  “Alley” had too much baggage.  Whatever.  I was trying to sell him advertising so I humored him.  Today, a quick Google search of “Bowling Alley” returned about 2,941,000 results while “Bowling Center” returned only 1,210,000.  They’ve got a long way to go.

Let us not forget  or TAFKAP, or more simply The Artist Formerly Known as Prince.  It only took him seven years to throw in the towel on that idea.

Finally, let’s consider Popeye’s enemy Bluto, who changed his name to Brutus.  In this case there was a good reason.  The attorneys for Walt Disney’s Big Mouse in Anaheim complained that Bluto sounded too much like Mickey’s dog Pluto.  Up until this afternoon I thought the character had been known as Bluto, Pluto and Brutus.  Go figure.

Here’s the point.  If your business is heading south, simply changing your name probably won’t be much help.   Fix the things going wrong inside your business or you might find yourself in the alley without a friend to your name.

Sorry That I Haven't Written Sooner

My thanks to those who have sent me emails wondering what's been up.  In my youth, I'd often dream of taking a summer off to travel around the country.  25 years later I got my wish.  In June I met with 11 new clients at the “Wizard Of Ads Boom Your Business” workshop in Austin.  Since then I’ve been following up with market visits to each one.  There hasn't been a lot of time for quiet contemplation.

I wanted to call this summer's travels my "Graceland to Ground Zero" tour but that’d leave out a lot of the real estate I’ve seen this summer by plane, and train and automobile.  My head is full of thoughts, my moleskin notebooks loaded with ideas and there’s a three-page word document with my impressions of the United States circa 2006.  Eventually, I’ll share some of the stories but for now I'd like to share an observation from the road.

Despite media reports to the contrary, Americans are pretty much the same no matter where they live.  From Long Island to Los Angeles people are concerned with more or less the same things; doing the best they can, providing for their family and building a better community. 

I’ve also noticed that if you spend too much time watching television you could be led to believe that the country is coming apart at the seams.  Everything is a “crisis” these days.  A stretch of hot weather is reported at the onset of global warming.  Commentators raising fears that a foiled terror plot could mean the end of air travel, as we know it.  Gas Prices, Immigration, the list goes on and on.

In the movie “Men In Black,” Tommy Lee Jones explains to Will Smith that “a person is smart, people are stupid.”  As a group we wring our hands, looking for someone to blame, looking for an easy answer.  As individuals we realize that there are no simple answers and no one person or group to blame.  So we do the best we can, providing for our families, helping to build a better community.  And by doing that, things usually work out in the end.

Who Manages The Manager

First off, let me say that up until now my experience with Perkin's Restaurants have been quite favorable, No matter how busy, there's usually a menu and pot of coffee at your table right after you sit down.  Service is prompt and efficient.  That's why we pulled off I-55 in Blytheville Arkansas for breakfast the other day.  Big mistake.

Granted it was busy for a Sunday morning.  But it took 15 minutes for someone to come over and ask us what we’d like to drink.  It took 10 minutes more to get our water and have our order taken.  25 minutes later we still hadn’t received our food so we got up and left.  It wasn’t like our waitress was busy with other tables.  She just vanished into the kitchen area, leaving 5 or 6 tables hanging.  That’s one problem.  The bigger problem was the manager.  Who passed by our table without as much as a good morning, I’m sorry for the delay, is there anything I can do to help?  In fact the most she would do was to tell someone else to go back in the kitchen to tell them that tables 11, 12, and 13 were waiting for service. 

When the chips are down it would seem everyone should pitch in to help; waitresses, busboys and even the manager.  Didn’t happen in this instance.  Fire the waitress at the end of the shift if she isn’t working out, but don’t leave your customers sitting watching the ice in their water melt in the meantime.

Here’s the point.  The only way to get an accurate picture of what’s going on in your business is to have someone visit it as a shopper when you aren’t around and report back to you.  If you have enough of these snapshots you’ll be able to put together a much clearing picture of your business than you’ve ever had before.  Your reputation is hanging in the balance.

What Will They Do When Your Back Is Turned?

When you own your own business you only have to work half days.  Pick any 12 hours.  Which still leaves 12 hours for your employees to mess up everything you’ve worked for.  For example, I was in Memphis over the weekend.  I wanted to have genuine "dry style" Memphis barbeque but it was too hot to drive downtown and wander Beale Street looking for it.  The hotel's Internet was down so I was forced to use  the phone book.  The ad for Corky’s (I usually don’t name names but this one is so special) gives an address but I don’t have a good map.  So I call and ask, “Where are you located?”  The girl who answers doesn’t ask for clarification, she puts me on hold assuming the address included in on-hold message is all I need.  The message repeats a second time before someone hangs up without coming back on the line.

I call back, this time a man answers.  I quickly blurt out that I know the address I need to know their location.  “Next to Tennessee First Bank.” Click.  What we have here is failure to communicate.  Evidently I should have specifically asked for directions.  Which I would have if given the opportunity before being put on hold or hung up on. 

Undaunted, I asked the receptionist at the hotel for directions and we found our way to the Corky’s on the east side of Memphis in Cordova.  Our waiter comes to the table for our drink order.  I ask what kind of wine they have.  He laughs at me, rolls his eyes and says,  “We only have beer.”  I guess they don’t get many new customers at Corky’s.  Either that or they’re all telepathic.  The ad said Corky's has his been voted #1 year after year in by Memphis residents.  I suppose customer service isn't part of the calculation.

How often do you send a secret shopper into your business when you’re not around?  If you don’t, it might be a good idea to schedule a visit once a quarter or so to see how your people act when when the cat's away.  I know what you’re thinking.  “That’s why I have a manager.”  Well do I have a story for you.

Don't Touch That Dial

The television ratings folks at Nielsen are going to start rating ads, or rather providing estimates for the number of people who don’t change the channel during commercial breaks (more).  I’m not sure the information will be very helpful.  I’ve been known to leave the room during commercial breaks, and quite often turn the volume off to avoid obnoxious ads such as Time Warner’s Beep Beep dot com.  In both cases the TV is on but the ads make no impact.

Over in Radioland, Arbitron is working on getting their personal people meter system fully accredited.  PPM technology should give advertisers the ability to see how many people change radio stations during those mind-numbing four and five-minute commercial breaks.  That should be an eye opener.   Once again hearing an ad and listening to it are two different things.  PPM only measures hearing (sort of) and not whether anyone is listening.

In a perfect world all ad writers and producers would take the time to create great ads for thier local clients, ads that viewers and listeners would pay more attention too.  In that case, we wouldn’t have to wonder about how many people tune out.   Are you doing your part or are you helping advertisers flush their ad dollars down the drain?

So Much For Supplemental Income

OfficeMax Ends Mail-In Retail Rebates, Implements New Instant Discount Policy at Check-Out Counter  (read)

What this really means is that consumers won’t be able to return merchandise for full credit after sending in their rebate coupons.  Fewer hassles for most customers and fewer open box discounts for OfficeMax.   The move makes a lot of sense, watch for other to retailers follow suit.

My Customers Are Different And Other Fairy Tales

Are you keeping track of what your potential customers are doing in the privacy of their homes and offices?  If you aren’t, it’s time to do so.  I’m surprised how many times business owners will tell me that “My customers are different, they don’t use the Internet,” or “Our customers wait for our ads to come out in the newspaper.”  Whatever.

According to a recent Harris Interactive study cited by Wall Street Journal Online, the profile of online users is looking more like the profile of the overall population. Approximately 77% of Americans are now online, up from 74% in the previous poll in 2005, and compared with 57% back in 2000. In 1995, only 9% of U.S. adults reported they went online.

Let’s break it down by age:
Adults 18 to 29 make up 21% of the population and 24% of Internet users
Adults 30 to 39 make up 18% of the population and 22% of Internet users
Adults 40 to 49 make up 20% of the population and 22% of Internet users
Adults 50 to 64 make up 22% of the population and 22% of Internet users
Adults 65+ make up 16% of the population but only 8% of Internet users

The results also show that adults with higher education and income levels represent a greater share of the online population than the population at large. 

So unless your customer is over 65 with less than a high school education making less than 25k per year it’s a pretty good bet that they’re online.  And whether or not you are personally on line your business needs to be.

At a recent advertising seminar in Asheville North Caroline I asked an audience of 100+ business owners how many subscribed to the daily newspaper.  You could hear the gasp when less than a dozen hands went up.  Might be one of the reasons that newspapers are increasing their online presence. 

I’ve had the extreme good fortune to travel the country meeting with business owners in towns and cities big and small.  People in America are more similar than you might imagine.  If you still believe your customers are different, you might start asking them how often they’re online.  The answer might surprise you.

100% What?

I ordered a tomato juice on a recent airline flight.  The label on the can read “100% Tomato Juice.”  Below that, in fine print, “made from tomato concentrate, water and other ingredients.”  Interesting definition of 100%